friday (the 8th) some fucken old lady rear ended me.
i was running late (of course); i woke up late and had to gas up. i was waiting at the light. really just thinking nothing and looking out the window. it’s been hot lately. so i had the window down and the music up. then my car is shaking. my head is shaking. my vision is blurred. i look straight in front of me and see that my car is sliding forward. my car is a standard transmission 2001 economy car (no i won’t tell you what make or brand. who cares) and when that old lady hit me my foot slid off the clutch (and brake) effectively granny clutching (stalling) my car. it’s harder to brake when my car is off, not to mention that since it’s standard (and economic) the brake petal is not wide enough to place both feet on it. so yes. i hit the person in front of me. i tried to brake but just couldn’t exert enough pressure quickly enough to make a difference. looking in the rear view mirror i see someone with both hands on their face shaking their head. now i couldn’t see for certain that it was a woman but only a woman (or an overly emotional man) would react that way.
so this lady lady ran into me and i ran into the woman in front of me. the woman i hit appeared to be vietnamese (does that matter? no, other than it seemed to be the main reason she didn’t understand what i was saying) and did not speak much other to say “i’m ok. yeah. ok.” my car didn’t damage her car but in hitting her i bent my license plate and broke the frame (which i was secretly glad about, because it sported the school which i am indebted to and absolutely despise). there are a few scratches on the front but nothing to scream about. the back bumper is scratched and dented. well, to be accurate it’s difficult to dent a bumper that seems to be made of plastic, so actually the damage looks more like a small piece was pushed in until it broke. that’s what happened. end of story.
am i going to fix it? no. am i going to go after this damned old lady? no. but you know, when i got out of my car and walked over to her, thinking, but unsure about what i was going to say, she asks “are you okay?” and i stopped. dead in my tracks. it hadn’t occurred to me to ask anyone if they were ok. i was only interested in finding out what hell happened and why. after exchanging information (i specifically asked her to get her insurance information and she walked back the car quickly but came back empty handed) i just didn’t care anymore. she tried to say at this point (after the vietnamese lady left) that the scratches where already there. now i know my car isn’t the best car, the cleanest car or the most scratch-free car but i still love her (my car, yes, is a girl). and when she said that my anger flared up and i decided that i might make her pay for it after all. my voice hardened and i said “no dude, those scratches were not there. you did that. you hit me pretty hard. i’ll be calling you.” fucken shit man! trying to weasel out of it! damn, man! she’s old, she should know better. action – reaction. it never changes. anyway, she looked at me and knew what i meant. she shrugged and said “well, whatever”.
you know, i don’t hate old people. i just hate the general stubbornness of not knowing when enough is enough. i’m not saying “lay down and die, you old fogey.” i am saying, however, if you can’t do something because of your body deterioration, don’t goddamned do it. i’m not just talking about old people. i’m saying anyone; if you don’t want to let your limitations get you down, fine. that’s admirable. but if it means that you have to essentially hurt other people to surmount your own personal struggles then no. let it be.
i’m not going after the old lady. it’s like you’d do as a poor kid; decide if it’s bad enough to go to the doctor and when you discover that the time and money costs more than a scar would, you quickly make a decision. after a short internal struggle i decided that wouldn’t unless it affects the way my car functions. if there had been (or is) internal damage, or something more severe then i would have no choice (seeing as how this is my only form of transportation). the only other circumstance is if the woman i hit comes after me. that’s the only uncertainty. it’s been almost a week and susie (my car) is fine. just a scratch. and a dent…hole…thing.
of course my mother (eeeik! eeik!) insists that i go after her. i explained to her that i was not going to do simply because she insisted. i explained patiently (which is unusual, if you know me) that when she becomes an old lady and rear ends someone, i’d hope the person she hit would not come after her. she in turn pointed out that as an adult one must be aware of their actions and accept the consequences (though, i’m afraid, she was a little less eloquent and punctuated each breath with profanity). i agreed, but still declined to take that route. i did offer her the opportunity to pursue the matter if she liked. she whined “that’s not the way it’s supposed to work!”
now i think she was so vehement because i wasn’t. usually i am. usually i tear around, cursing and fuming about things gone wrong. cursing everything (and sometimes everyone) around me because somehow it is beyond my control to go through one day in which nothing disastrous occurs. i’d curse the heavens if i thought there was someone up there to be offended.
